the human condition

A new study shows that a staggering 80 percent of all car accidents in the US is caused by distracted drivers that are more focused on eating than on the road. I could probably end it there and get my point across but I would be selling myself short. Before I begin, I'd like to put on record that I have never commited this act. And if you have, shame on you. Never again, should be the words coming out of your mouth, if not now, by the time you finish reading this blog. Eating and driving is a pet peeve of mine. If I see it, I will acknowledge it and surely grace those around me with my thoughts. Just yesterday, I was leaving the gym and I see this overweight lady in a SUV deepthroating a burrito while operating the vehicle through a parking lot. Thankfully, she didn't cause an accident but she did stop short of pedestrians crossing the street, more importantly me. I just don't get it, is life that busy that you have to guzzle down food as you drive? Or has your oral fixation gone to such extreme levels that you can't help yourself? People say its a time saver, but honestly how long does it take to eat your micky d's breakfast at work, or just making something in the morning. Early commuters, parents, etc. have a lot on their plate, I get it. But effective time mangement skills should allow you to muster up 15 minutes to make breakfast before your day starts. I only mention breakfast because no other meal of the day should you eat and drive with good cause. Just pull over and eat, then continue driving. It just makes more sense. You don't have to worry about multiple things at once, you aren't putting yourself, or more importantly, others in danger, and if you just focus on what you are eating, studies show you eat less and you enjoy the food more. These are all great reasons for you to try to not fit in the American stereotype. I know drive-thrus are one of the major causes for this phenomenon but it truly is up to you to be smart about it. Drive-thrus are great in its own right but people seriously abuse that shit and its not really helping the cause for a healthier/safer America.

Recently, it came to my attention that a lot of girls come to the gym I go to at 5pm. I'm usually out by 4:30, but I was running late that day. Lets get something straight, I don't go to the gym to check out girls, I go to work out. Even if they are around, I look once because its a natural reflex, but I don't stare and I definitely don't try to approach them, because well, I think any gym convo would be inherently awkward. Its actually funny seeing other guys try to make conversation, I mean I can't hate on the guy for trying but it just looks, for a lack of a better word, silly. The guy makes a statement about something obvious like what she's working out on and then segue into late night drinks, classy. Anyway, I can't help but notice the attire that people come to the gym in. I mean guys either wear Under Armour, something sporty like that or whatever they sleep in so it's pretty standard. But girls they wear the tightest thing possible that won't cut off blood circulation. From what I can tell, it might be more comfortable or advantageous in some athletic way. But I wonder if it serves another purpose. Sometimes I feel bad for some guys because they can't help but stare... even during sets they use the mirrors to check em out and its especially profound at 5pm. I mean I get it, we work out, all those happy chemicals are surging through our brain, you see an attractive girl who is wearing something that is super tight and you can't help but to picture her naked. My beef is just that I feel girls perpetuate this sort of phenomenon and then deny it either to themselves or to others. Just be real. I've seen plenty of good looking girls come into the gym wearing something like yoga pants, a tshirt and even a cap. Granted, it might not be optimal to workout in but if you seriously had a problem with guys looking at you then well I think its a completely viable option. I know, you're saying to yourself why not guys just stop being pervs instead, the word has seriously lost its meaning. Its defined as a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable. Does that really describe a guy who checks out a girl? Its not like they whistle at them, make rude remarks, or do something offensive. And if you think just looking or making an attempt to talk to you is any of those things then you need to see a professional about your mental health. We can argue about context and what not, but seriously, no single side is to blame.

What really confuses me is overweight girls who wear spandex and do all the workouts that won't optimally help them lose weight. Its a sore sight and exercising means absolutely nothing if you are just going to go have a bigmac later. I rave about stuff that just makes sense and that, dear readers, does not make sense. If you want to be healthy and fit then there are certainly better ways to do so. We have the internet at our disposal and turtorials on how to do everything. Learn a little and then maybe you won't be at the mercy of people who make fun.

I do truly miss NYC and everything about it that makes it a great city to live in. Everyday had the potential for something ridiculous to happen and that was something I thoroughly enjoyed. I definitely miss those five dollar lamb gyros and the squares from my corner pizzeria. The handball courts, the diversity, and the fact that you can walk to anything are among the things I miss the most. I'd say though its the people that make any city great, and NYC has quite an impressive spectrum of people. From those I call my dear friends to the obw on buses. What a great city, I hope to visit soon.

All guys should be familiar with "the urinal rule." This is the unspoken, but mutually understood concept that a guy shall never use the urinal directly adjacent to an occupied unrinal unless all stalls are in use and a revisit to our pre-potty training days is apparent. With that said, its obvious that if you are the first in line to pee and there are 3 urinals, don't fucking take the middle one, its a common courtesy. And no its not because we are insecure about our own package, its just the decent thing to do. We've all been there, the dude with the fake cock eye, or the guy who pretends to be checking out your kicks. Its a pathetic ruse and it isn't fooling anyone. None of us should be privy to your size anxiety or any of your sick fantasies. So just don't do it. If you are unfamiliar with this rule, now you know.

A similiar unspoken rule applies in movie theaters. More specifically in the realm of seating. No guy is to sit directly adjacent to another guy whenever possible. It just makes sense. No elbow room quarrels, more room to yourself, etc. Why wouldn't you do it? This rule goes hand in hand with... don't sit directly in front of someone in a non inclined movie theater whenever possible. It just makes sense. I'm a pretty tall dude, why would I be an asshole and sit directly in front of someone and force them to stare at the back of my head, amongst other things, for the next hour or so. And the reason, its the perfect seat does not suffice. Now I understand couples and families want to sit together, that's fine. Opening night, packed theater... I get it. I'm talking about the midweek I got nothing better to dos and the late night I'm not sober enough to go homes. Recently, A few of my friends and I went to go watch a movie. It was a late show so I wasn't expecting many people. I sat down, looked around and acknowledged the plenty of good seats that were remaining. But of course... three guys walked into the row in front of me and there I sat having a mini anxiety attack, saying "don't do it, don't do it" under my breath. And what do you know, the tallest fuck sits right in front of me. I didn't relocate, mainly because I am a man of principles and the other viable seats were taken. So I missed the bottom middle of the entire movie. Granted, nothing usually happens at that part of the screen... it could've easily been a subtitle nightmare.

Bad Teacher was a good movie, even with the slightly eclipsed visual space.

Some women definitely try too hard to be beautiful. Let me explain... the excessive makeup, the needless accessorization of the body, strutting around in heels to accentuate body parts, and the list goes on. Now I'm not saying its wrong to pierce your body in 15 different places or scar your body with meaningless tattoos or to painstakingly walk around in uncomfortable footwear. I just think its pointless, all religious beliefs aside. Perhaps I'm just speaking out of utter confusion in the need to express oneself in those ways. What happened to the purity in women I used to idiolize as a kid? Photoshopped pictures, surgical modifications, extreme dieting... now these aren't new issues but what are we doing about it? We men fuel this type of behavior. Then we wonder why some women are bitches and its because they haven't eaten anything for 12hrs and they just got their nipples pierced. I can imagine we as a gender are to blame for some of the things that women put themselves through but its not just us. Women do it to themselves. Let me stop myself before I stray too off topic... I think the most beautiful women are those that are comfortable in their own skin. Those who are aware that they have flaws and that it makes em unique not odd. Those women who don't need to follow conventions only because other women are doing it. Women who keep their mirrors at home, and women who know that one can never be beautiful if only judging by the standards of others. Its superfluous to alter your body to be part of something or to impress another. And its definitely redundant to wear things that are designed to emphasize body parts. If you are being fake, in this case, in the way you attract attention then well can you seriously expect something honest in return?

What a rant... all because of a girl I saw at the bar the other day.