the human condition

You may have heard of the phrase, "the death of chivalry." Many argue that chivalry, in its most common definition, is at an end because of the rise of feminism and the increase in equality between men and women. Those people are referring to an antiquated definition of the word. It once was a code of conduct for knights which had verses about how a knight should treat a lady. During those times, the disparity between men and women was vast. We all had our roles, it was all pretty set in stone. Blacksmiths' sons will be blacksmiths and daughters will marry other sons to cook, clean, and mother children. Pretty straightforward. Obviously in our culture today, that is not always the case. Thus the concept of chivalry, cannot be so simple, so straightforward like it used to be.

So what is chivalry then... we definitely need a modern definition. We can't go completely old school like, "stand everytime a proper lady walks into a room." But we also can't neglect the core purpose of a code of conduct. Or even if we need one. Chivalry or not, today, we learn how to treat women from many different sources... fathers, movies, friends, books, magazines, cultures and most importantly, women... just to name a few. So is it right to have just a single approach, a uniform guide? Not to mention that all women aren't the same and have way varied expectations. It isn't so easy to place rules on how to behave. Some women like men to be a bit aggressive and skip formalities. But others absolutely adore the courting process. Unlike the medieval day, we gotta acknowledge these desires and preferences. Therefore making it impossible to accommodate all.

The major issue now is that chivalry is too often thought of as some sort of ultimate guide book on how to treat women when its not. Its mainly about one thing, respecting women. Being a gentlemen today, is like being a knight during the medieval times when it comes to negotiating women. To be considerate, caring, honest, and thoughtful are just a few things that makes one a gentleman. Our upbringing, amongst other things, greatly modifies our scope, ability and willingness to convey these attributes. But we are all capable of being gentlemen just some more naturally than others.

Even though times have changed, many women claim that it is still appropriate to practice a code of conduct. While many men argue that such practice is backwards and that true equality has impartial treatment, women nevertheless welcome chivalrous acts. In my opinion, I think its perfectly appropriate when you are courting a girl. Go ahead, open the door for her and help her carry her stuff. Don't just text her and say "I'm outside." Walk up to greet her. While your at it, open the car door for her. Let her pick the movie once in awhile, and always compliment her when she dolls up for you. Just to name a few things... Lastly, I want to say that women have such a huge influence on the path modern chvarly takes. You can't expect men to just do things, we are not mind readers. We don't always pick up on the subtle cues that make sense in your head, because it probably doesn't in ours. Your man or men in general will not change if you all just sit there and bitch amongst yourselves. Don't tolerate bullshit and set your bar a little higher. Then maybe chivalry, or the presence of gentlemen won't be on such a rapid decline.