the human condition

Is a shitty scenario people get themselves into. If you aren't familiar, its when two people have a dynamic in which one has romantic feelings and the other does not. It shouldn't be a surprise that this happens to a certain type of person. He is usually considered by many as a nice guy and is a person who hasn't been overly acknowledged for his physical appearance all his life. Its the guy who is caring, a good listener, thoughtful, and reliable. And not the guy who is a jerk, questionable, elusive, and arrogant. For a long time I wondered why this was the case and I suppose today I'll give my two cents on the matter and hopefully I can provide some insight on the guy's point of view.

It may be because generally growing up, girls don't know what they want in a guy or just say they do and really have no freaking idea. This leads to easily persuaded and fallible decisions, lots of heartbreaks and sad times. But the nice guy is always there for them. So why not just go with the him to begin with. He'd probably never break your heart. Its because its not that simple. First off, an attractive guy, from the get-go, girls wanna bang him. So those guys typically don't have a friend zone problem although they usually exhibit the negative characteristics listed above. Secondly, younger girls seek excitement and spontaneity. Not stability and safety. Those wants come way later in their lives.

I've heard girls tell me that they don't like "jerks" and its the confidence typically associated with "jerks" that they are attracted to... What a load of crap. Even if it was true, how stupid and simple do you have to be to use that excuse to justify being with a total ass. Is it some mystery that guys who end up crushing your hearts are completely different at the end than they were at the start? Its called acting, we all do it. In their case, to get laid or whatever cause they had. Stop being stuck in your nostalgia because he's tired of you and you are too young to settle.

Lets take a step back, because like many things, its a two way street. Guys who fall into this problem need to be different. What I mean is that, you can't offer everything you have to a girl and expect it in return. Life isn't a disney movie, and its foolish to think it as such. If you do convey all those wonderful attributes to a girl, she isn't gonna want to lose you. So why risk being in a relationship with you that may or may not last long and then have it end, only to realize it'll be too awkward to have you around. Instead, they'd rather label you as a friend because friends are forever right? No blame to women, I mean it makes total sense. If you aren't physically attracted to him then why bother being more than a friend with a guy? Its the same rational guys take but with a little spin of course. I mean that guys will release into any vagina that's willing. So long as there aren't any consequences. But that is a topic for a different discussion.

Nice guys don't have to finish last. If a girl doesn't have to worry about losing you, then she won't. Simple as that. I know if you meet a girl you like, its almost instinctual to want to care for them and save them from their sorrows. Believe me, I've been there. But don't do it. Unless you want to be friend zoned. Look, I'm not saying to become total asses, just don't offer your best wares to those who aren't paying. Don't always have nothing to do that you'll sit there and listen to her sulk about some guy who dumped her or won't notice her. Tell her you're busy, even if you aren't. But if her mother died, fucking listen. Its not too difficult so far is it? Also make sure you're taking care of yourself. This goes for any guy, but seriously, go to the gym, floss, get good haircuts, and have a sense of identity. Everybody can have confidence. You just need proper reinforcement. Good looking people exude this desireable trait because all their lives people have told them how pretty or handsome they are. Although, most of 'em let it get to their heads and that's where the arrogance and unreliablity sets in. They don't need to care about you because another guy or girl will happily take your place.

So what am I trying to get at? I'm not advocating that you change who you are to try and impress some girl, to get into her pants. But subjecting yourself to the friend zone with every girl you like is not a result of who you are but a product of bad decisions and inexperience. So keep your distance and don't be a pussy. Make your move before she starts to really confide in you. If you are already in that friend zone then tough luck. Either gamble and confess your feelings, or just move on. Because its hardly worth it to sit around and wait 'til either she matures or she settles. Think of yourself as the guy girls want to end up with, not have flings with. If you don't want that, then go do something about it.